Ladies, I came across this post from a site called The Charly Mag: Note To Ex-Wives and because I can’t say it any better myself, I encourage you to read it here.
It resonated with me because I continue to struggle with my own definition of boundaries within the stepfamily. I am the second wife, without kids of my own and the newest addition to a family that existed long before I came along.
I found out pretty early on that I wasn’t comfortable jumping on board without stating clearly, “Hey move over. Make some room for me!” I knew I had to honor my own voice, but as a consequence– it’s been a bit of a bumpy ride. I continue to question myself… When are the needs and considerations of the collective family more important than my individual wants, including my own vision of what a family should be?
When I sat down this morning with my first cup of coffee and read, “Change and compromise is necessary in the blended family. It isn’t fair for you [ex-wife] to expect the current wife to embrace your way of thinking and doing things. Remember that she might have children as well and/or her own way of thinking. Just because she has chosen to marry a man with children and fully accepts his children and all the mayhem that comes with it, doesn’t mean that she didn’t have a mind of her own before deciding to do so,” I said out loud: THANK YOU CHARLY.
Give it a read and then let’s discuss.
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