Ms. Izzy,
Since you seem very well versed in national stepmom news, I wanted to ask your advice. I am new at this stepmom thing. I moved in with my boyfriend and his five-year-old daughter several months ago. He was never married to his child’s mother. They separated when she was three and his daughter was “unplanned.” But, instead of bailing, he decided to take responsibility and care for his daughter. We are now all living together as…sort of…a family.
In the Stepchicks forum and on your site, I generally find resources for women who are dating divorced dads. That’s not me. I am dating the man of my dreams– a man who has never been married, but who is splitting parenting responsibilities with his ex-girlfriend, and I’m having a hard time finding anyone in a similar situation. If anyone knows about this, you do.
To Anonymous,
As far as your unique situation goes, I can’t say I’ve come across any sites that speak directly to your scenario, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. The only dialogue I’ve had on this subject is with a girlfriend who started dating her boyfriend when his ex-girlfriend was pregnant with his baby. (And my girlfriend wasn’t looped in on this info until after they’d gotten somewhat serious.) She’s been in a stepparenting role since the child was born, yet she’s not “officially” the child’s stepmom. My only comment to her was, “You’re a stronger woman than me. You must really love this guy.” Not only are they now engaged, but my girlfriend can’t imagine her life without this child in it. And you can imagine it, can’t you? She bonded with her from the teeny-tiny infant stage. They’re a family. Maybe not the “traditional” kind, but somehow they’re making it work.
Let’s see what the Stepmother’s Milk readers have to say about this and try and generate a discussion. Any of you ladies have any advice or expertise on this subject?
Thanks for your help!
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