stepmothersmilk.com

Ladies, I really love this quote…

“As Stepmoms, we should remember

It’s our choice.”

– Cynthia L. Copeland

About a year ago, I wrote a post titled What’s in a Name? At the time, I was struggling with what to call my stepkids– my kids, stepkids, the little creeps I live with– and what they should call me– stepmom, Izzy or that weird lady down the hall.

Recently, a new reader stumbled upon the post and has revived the debate. “It’s amazing how just a simple name, a simple word, can be so emotionally charged…”

This reader refers to her stepkids as the most important kids in her world, which I think is very sweet. I can relate to this having no kids of my own (that is, babies who baked in my oven). Indeed, The Tall One and The Young One are the most important kids in my world.

As I was mulling all this over, I came across this excellent post on the Los Angeles Moms Blog. It, too, addresses the issue of name-calling…

“Stepdaughter has sometimes referred to me as her “second mom,” and I appreciate that. I’m not a replacement - I’m a supplement. I’m another adult that she and her brother can look to for care and support, without taking anything away from their “real” parents.”

For a while now, I’ve been looking for a name to replace the very dated, and often negatively charged, “stepmom.”

Ladies, please do weigh in. What do you think of Second Mom? It’s growing on me.

It was an encouraging first step.

I met some of my contemporary stepmoms face-to-face. Five of us gathered in downtown Austin for fancy barbeque, including fellow blogger, Erin of The Erin Experiment. She and her husband were in town from Chicago celebrating their third wedding anniversary and indulging in some much-deserved stepparenting R and R.

Our group was much smaller than originally expected (see La Belle Mere), but family obligations, escalated airline costs and general economic woes were keeping ladies home this summer.

Still, our little group discussed a variety of topics, ranging from the difference between stepsons and stepdaughters, how to handle the ex-wife, why we discipline the way we do, and how the hell did we get into this mess in the first place? We also discussed the merits of good wine to alleviate stepparenting stress and pole dancing for dropping extra pounds (lbs most likely due to excessive wine consumption).

… a delicious treat.

It was a lovely evening and I’m already at work planning the next one. Look for a larger, national conference next spring in conjunction with an exciting event (no, I’m not pregnant) that I’ll keep you posted on. Any of you who want to partner up, please let me know.

In the meantime, I’m going to Holla at My Girls–that is, my local Austin stepmoms. The first Austin Step-Ladies Mixer coming soon!

If you haven’t already, I encourage the rest of you to start your own local stepmom groups in other parts of the country. I love my online community, but sitting down with real women to linger over great food and share honest conversation is such a delicious treat.

Cheers,

soma drug information, soma internet pharmacies, soma rx, soma buy online, wholesale soma, soma 250, drug interaction soma ultram, soma diego ca, buy cod soma, soma discount, soma san diego ca, order soma on line, soma delivered ups, soma online pharmacy, cheap soma prescription, soma houston, buying soma online, soma without prescription shipped cod, cheap non prescription soma, where to buy mexican soma, cheap soma free shipping, soma california overnight, next day soma, soma order cod, 350 cheap generic mg soma, cod prescription soma, interaction soma, online orders com soma, buy generic online soma, soma low priced, soma sales, soma ottawa, soma, soma online cheap, soma drug interactions, buy soma no prescription, buy soma overnight, soma getting, delivery free shipping buy soma cheap, carisoprodol cheap soma 100, cheap soma medication, delivery guaranteed overnight soma, buy carisoprodol, generic soma carisoprodol, online pharmacy to order soma the medication, canadian pharmacies and soma, no rx soma, prescription of soma, houston soma, discount soma, diet pills soma, picture soma, effects soma, order soma now, cheap online order soma, description generic soma, online order soma, carisoprodol online, mexican pharmacy soma, cheap soma online, soma side effects, cheap watson soma, delivered soma, order carisoprodol, order wallace soma online, watson soma overnight, drug called soma, pill soma, soma online no prescripti, cheap fioricet soma tramadol viagra, soma information, soma used for, zenegra prescription of soma, sipping soma, discount soma online, get soma online, soma muscle relax, carisoprodol soma 350, canadian soma, no prescription required soma, soma 180 tabs, soma no perscription, buy cialis levitra low online pharmacy price soma viagra, online soma watson, pay pal order soma, day next soma, soma carisoprodol online 120, soma mg, soma interactions, soma prescription cod, vicodin soma, low price soma, carisoprodol soma watson, prozac soma, buying soma online without a prescription, carisoprodol generic soma online, buy soma order tramadol order soma ultram, soma from canada for cheap, soma sleep, soma netherlands, prescription drug called soma, where to order soma, soma tabs, soma san diego, fioricet soma, get online soma, lowest soma, alprazolam soma, soma watson carisoprodol, money order soma, soma interaction, buy soma online usa, compound soma tablet, buy soma online without prescription, buy soma credit no prescription, soma with codeine in usa no prescription, soma 250mg, ambien and soma online, buy soma online overnight delivery, buy online pharmacy soma, buy cheap soma, phentermine soma, discount soma carisoprodol manufactured by mutual, carisoprodol online buy soma, codeine soma, buy watson soma without prescription, generic soma cheap, soma california, soma online prescription, information about the drug soma, the drug soma, without prescription cheap soma, buy 180 tabs watson soma, prescription soma without, cheap generic order soma, soma carisoprodol online, soma buy, soma online free overnight shipping, soma cheap 120 overnight fedex, soma medicine, soma canadian, soma watson pharmacy, buy cheap drugs lipitor tricor cardizem soma, soma cheap, buy cheap discounted soma, cheap soma, drug interaction soma, buy soma free delivery, soma diazepam online, purchase soma carisoprodol online, mexican soma cod, soma drug info, overnight online soma delivered cod only, san diego soma, 175 cheap generic mg soma, get soma, soma online free shipping, order soma, soma without precription, soma prices, buy cheap soma online, buy soma cheap overseas, buy soma online no prior rx required, order cheap buy soma, soma available online, cod order soma, buy online rx soma without, information soma, soma watson online, buy soma line, soma phentermine overnight pharmacy, where to buy soma, buying soma, soma codeine, buy watson soma without perscription, soma tramadol, online pharmacy 2b soma, ambien online phentermine purchase soma, information on soma, soma medications, next day meds soma, soma on line cheap, soma carisoprodil tablets, soma pill pictures, online soma imported, where can i purchase soma, soma online without a prescription, buy 180 tabs of brand soma, buy soma com, 350mg soma, how to purchase phentermine ambien and soma online, soma the drug, ordering soma the medication online cod, long term use of soma, soma overnight no prescription, cheap soma and fioricet, soma canada, soma order carisoprodol, brand soma, soma carisoprodol tablets 250 mg, soma prescriptions online, soma online, best online soma

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

I just received the following Google News Alert for: Stepmother

Daughter breaks mum’s hip in death-bed bust-up

Death-bed bust up?

According to the story, a disgruntled stepdaughter broke “her stepmum’s hip by throwing her to the floor in a hospital bustup …” Poor stepmum is expected to walk with a limp for the rest of her life.

The story says, “relationships in the family had been strained.” Uh, apparently.

Wow. Have all our stepdaughters gone mad? Have we driven them criminal-crazy?

Here’s my advice. The next time your stepdaughter asks to borrow your favorite pair of designer shoes– for God’s sake, let her! Think about it this way: if you say no and then she throws you to the ground and you end up with a shattered hip, you won’t be able to wear them again anyhow.

The Young One, Prince of silliness and high jinx, is not the only jokester in our house.

He has me to contend with.

The other night, we had a laugh-off. How this works in simple terms is that we try to out-funny each other.

I was on a roll.

I’m not sure if it was the delirium from the sweltering ninety degree weather or the sweet intoxication from the Zinfandel, but I delivered a line of sarcastic assaults that got the kid cackling. And snorting. And hyper-ventilating. Then coughing. And choking. Until suddenly- he barfed.

The Young One threw up into my tropical garden.

Which, of course, got me laughing.

After he finished wiping his mouth, he scolded, “Izzy! You just kept going and going. You wouldn’t stop!”

I smiled victoriously. “How does it feel, Young One? How does it feel?”

He had no comeback. He knew I’d won.

Moral of the story: You don’t enter a laugh-off lightly in our house. Someone’s going down– right into the Mexican feather grass.

It’s the week before Mother’s Day and I’ve kicked the festivities off early with my mother who just happens to be in Austin, Texas. We are two generations of stepmothers who have spent the past week spinning tales, laughing aloud, gulping margaritas and buying each other jewelry.

I encourage this sort of early celebrating…

I encourage this sort of early celebrating, especially with another woman who shares the blended family lifestyle. It takes the pressure off the actual Mother’s Day holiday* that so often forgets to honor the steps. Example: Last year I had the pleasure of reminding The Tall One and The Young One to call their own mother and then forget to acknowledge me. That was awesome.

Well, this year is different. I’m covering myself ahead of time with tequila and costume jewels. Any additional praise or material treasures (this is a shameless hint to the boys) will be considered a sweet treat.

Cheers,

Photo courtesy of The Tall One.

* I personally do not support Stepmother’s day, the weekend following mother’s day. To me, this only perpetuates the myth that we aren’t “real” mothers and only deserve second class status. Ladies, I’m just not buying into that. Are you?