I’ll probably never truly appreciate football.

I’ll never be good at math.

I rarely remember to bring my reusable bags to the grocery store. Sorry.

I am determined to always have the last word.

I don’t think I have what it takes to be a stay-at-home-mom and therefore will most likely put my children in daycare or hire a nanny.

I’ll never have a green thumb.

If it doesn’t come in a freezer bag, can or jar – we probably won’t be eating it for dinner.

I’ll never be the soccer mom who always looks perfect in her North face jacket and skinny jeans. In fact, after rushing around the house looking for shin guards and cleats – I’m lucky if I have time to brush my hair.

I’ll never like mushrooms or brussel sprouts.

I am not a patient person.

I’ll probably never switch from white wine to red.

I just found out that Superbowl Sunday is this Sunday. Who’s playing?

I’m actually good at math. I used to high five myself when I aced tests. I also sat in the front row and raised my hand a lot. I know, it’s embarrassing.

Sometimes I throw plastic bags away in the trash because it hurts my enviro-conscience too much to look at them.

When I can’t make a decent argument, I just make a joke.

What’s wrong with day care?

I’ll never be an electrician. Or a plumber. I’m okay with that, and so is the guy I hire to fix the sink.

If it doesn’t go well with wine, we probably won’t be eating it for dinner.

I often feel like an outcast around mom-types. I swear too much and don’t hug enough.

Even Nigella Lawson can’t make brussel sprouts taste good. If she can’t do it, nobody can.

I’m a task-master. Some of my family members might call this “being a tight-ass.”

I’ll probably never switch from red wine to white.