Introducing Ms. January!
Kicking off the New Year as the Stepmom in the Spotlight is a woman who isn’t afraid to share her icky outsider feelings as the newest member of a ready-made family. But, instead of sulking, screaming or hiding under the covers, this brave lady built a relationship with her husband’s ex that eventually transformed the blended household into something that sounds quite lovely.
My favorite quote from the interview is this …
“People are beautiful and messed up and no one really knows what they are doing, including me.”
Like me, Ms. January has two stepsons (a tween and a teen), she lives in Pasadena, CA, and her popular community-minded blog, the DHX, has become one of my favorite places to visit.
Read the interview…
Tags:blog, DHX, Ms January, stepkids, stepmom
Another great stepmom! Thanks Izzy for profiling these ladies. It’s always comforting to read the long-form accounts of other’s lives. We all handle our blended family differently yet the underlying similarities are quite interesting. I look forward to these each Month. How does one become “Ms. February”?
Thanks and nice story Jill.
Sandra Bee
Email me if you or someone you know wants to be Ms. Feb. It’s a thrill for me to meet new women with lives similar and always a little bit different from mine.
Kisses
IR
I’m loving Jill even more now after reading that interview. Beautiful and messed up indeed. I’ll drink to that!
My hat is off to Ms. January. I just found this site, and I am quite in need of the support it seems to provide. I have never posted anything on a site before now. My New Year has started off fine, but for the tensions that exist as a result from my 14 year old stepson’s visit. He consistently physically & verbally abuses my 10 year old son, talks about me behind my back to my son, & is blantantly disrespectful to me (my husband’s guilt for not raising the older child has resulted in denial of these accusations, or minimizing their affect on me and my son). The situation is so delicate, my husband and I can’t even talk about it. My husband wants my stepson to come live with us next fall when he starts highschool. How can I say yes (what I know I should say), when I feel like that would be inviting satan himself to live with me?
Wow. That’s a tough one. Is there anyone who can be the neutral third party so the two of you can talk about this? I think in the interest of your marriage, an honest discussion (even though it might be ugly and difficult) needs to happen. I for one, am a huge believer in therapy…we even invited ours to our wedding. That’s how much we credited her with keeping us sane.
IR
I thought about us starting some sort of family counseling. This should be a prerequisite before he comes to live with us. I feel badly for my husband and the difficult situation he is in. However, I feel protective of my son who cannot protect himself. I’m also in prayer for myself that I am able to forgive and love my stepson. But I honestly don’t know how I’m going to with all the resentment, distrust, and animosity I feel.
I think family counseling should be a prerequisite for marrying any man with an ex-wife and kids. There are so many new dynamics and people (adults and kids included) with different needs. All members of the family should feel honored and loved and have a neutral space to speak about their concerns. Good luck!
IR
I agree.. without therapy you are just winging it… we all know what happens when we do that. And you know, sometimes it takes a couple of tries to find the right therapist. But you must do it. It will save your marriage, even if you aren’t married yet.