I left my attitude in San Francisco
I take it back. I am no longer charmed with San Francisco and my (working) vacation. I miss The Husband and the stepsons I left at home in Austin. It’s only been a week and I’m officially over it. And when I say it, I’m not referring to the work; I’m talking about this city.
I’m going to present you with a controversial (or bitchy) opinion that I reserve the right to retract should I offend the wrong person (colleagues who get me work in town, primarily). But for now, I’ve just got to spill it because these ugly feelings have been brewing for some time.
San Francisco is stuck up.
That’s right. She’s rude. And while I believe this over generalization can be applied to the entire metro area on any given day, I will narrow my accusation to a very specific spot: Chestnut Street in the Marina District on a Saturday afternoon is an ass.
Well, of course, you groan. The Marina has a reputation for being snooty and cliquey and high on its boutique self. And while that statement holds some truth, it doesn’t let the rest of the city off the hook. Because what I witnessed today, I’ve experienced in Noe Valley, North Beach, Russian Hill, the Haight-Ashbury, Portrero Hill, the Outer Sunset and the Mission.
San Francisco is stuck up.
It’s an attitude. Aloof. Self centered. Impolite. And I’ve had enough of it. San Francisco, you should be ashamed of yourself! Where are your manners?
Nearly every time I mention the Bay Area to someone who lives in another part of the country, they gush with enthusiasm and envy that I’m from “such a fantastic city. How lucky!” People LOVE this town, but think about this; San Francisco is esteemed for its arresting scenery, its spectacular architecture, memorable cuisine (see photo left YUM) and art, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say, “Ahhhh… San Francisco. The people are so warm and wonderful there.”
No. I’m pretty sure I have no memory of this sentiment. Could it be because it’s populated with millions of people who, in my opinion, are cold and unfriendly?
At least on the surface. The term brotherly love does not apply out on the streets of San Francisco.
I often wondered when I lived here full time, why I never felt at home when I’d spent my entire adult life here. And today it hit me. I never felt welcome. It’s like the city is arrogantly walking around with its insides held in tight, protective armor in place. No one gets in from the outside. It’s hard to grow roots when the bedrock is so hard. It’s one of the reasons I finally left.
I’m getting too thoughtful. Let’s get back to my rant…
How San Francisco let me down today or what really irks Izzy:
1) Yesterday was a 13-hour-work day and my feet looked like they belonged to a troll. So, I wandered down to Chestnut Street for a pedicure and moved en masse with conceited sorority sisters who were too hurried or oblivious to make room for anyone else competing for sidewalk space. This is a major pet peeve of mine. It’s an outrage. Who gave you permission to be more important than the rest of the planet and sideswipe me without remorse? I wanted to shove those sluts and injure them.
2) On the way to get my toes done, I was ignored in many stores by sales help who acted like saying hello or making eye contact was not in their “job description.” Are they worried that I might confuse service with caring? I hope they get fired. Before Christmas.
3) After my feet were massaged and prettified, but well before they were dry, I was kicked out onto the street to make room for new customers. The owner of NEW NAILS actually pointed me to the front door and shouted something in Cantonese. I believe it was mean-spirited.
4) I was bullied by a guy at Walgreen’s for using the IN door instead of the OUT. “That’s the wrong side.” So what, F*@#face! Hold the door open for me anyway and shut your cry hole.
5) The woman at Noah’s rolled her eyes when I told her I needed a minute to read the menu (it’s not just bagels anymore). And then she took her sweet ass time making my sandwich. Was she trying to teach me a lesson?
I never thought I’d say the words, but get me back to Texas where Southern hospitality is my new best friend. I turn into an angry, tight-faced woman with a trucker mouth when I’m here for too long.
Photo courtesy of A 16 which is delicious and as long as you have a reservation everyone is perfectly charming.
Texas misses you too.
In the meanwhile, I say kill ‘em with kindness.
You need to get back to your boys. Pronto. Click your pedicured but smudged-nailed feet 3 times and say I wanna go home…..
I’m still here for another week or so…so I’m going to attempt kindness and patience at every turn. Or start spitting on people.
Izzy, I’d say start spitting on them. Heck they spit on the sidewalk already in Chinatown. In the short time (couple of years) I spent in San Francisco no one… NO ONE opened a door for me, hardly anyone was kind or friendly on the street. And if you dare start a conversation with someone of the opposite sex they give you this look like you’re trying to get in their pants-get over yourself. And what is the deal with all the black? Everyone wears black. Don’t get me started.
Your rants seems well warranted.
Time to break my silence and say hello because you could use a little kindness…
I found your website last week. And I’m so digging it! You are a great writer.
I have about 100 questions for you and your network of S-moms so I’m considering putting up a website just dedicated to asking questions and getting thoughts from the S-mom community.
So just thanks for putting your life out there. I really appreciate it.
And about San Fransico, f-em. Get back to Texas. Stick with us in the mid-west. We will welcome you with open arms, share our sidewalk, stay all afternoon in the pedicure shop…
BTW - I’m writing you from Sweden where I’m working for two weeks. Its very dark here.
Drop me an email if you have a few minutes! Looking forward to getting your two cents!
Thanks SaraJane. Nice to meet you. I am happy to answer 100 questions anytime, perhaps over sweet tea somewhere warmer.
Looking forward to getting to know you.
IR
this is the best, you rock! not only a great writer and kick-ass steppie, but a kick-ass chick. good for you, i too can’t abide rudeness. it’s not a show of class, it’s a show of no class. do your damage Izzy Rose!
ok, I just put my questions 1 & 2… go over to:
http://addur2cents.blogspot.com/
Thanks! Looking forward to hearing from you!
Ha! I moved to NYC from SF a little over a year ago because I felt the same way about that city!! I never felt at home there at all. It’s so overrated too. Though the restaurants are still my favorite I must admit!
You know, NYC suffered (and may still) a reputation for being one of the “rudest” cities and I’m just wondering why SF has gone so long without someone coming forward and putting her in the number one position. I was in NY this summer and found it quite pleasant. I wasn’t run off the sidewalk once (although I may have been pinched in the subway line).
I hate to say it (since I’m a native and all), but Little Miss City by the Bay needs an attitude readjustment. Perhaps she’ll get one for Christmas.
Thanks for all your comments.
IR
I am an Bay Area native, and I can’t agree more. I heart NYC. New Yorkers are lovely. They all look different. They get the “service” part of service jobs. Sure, there are some New Yorkers that are gruff, and impatient, but their honesty about it earns them a pass. Bottom line is, New Yorkers know they live in one of the greatest cities on the planet, warts and all, and have no need to try to shove it in your face. It’s sort of like peace through strength.
San Francisco on the other hand is the step-child (no blog-pun intended) with a chip on its shoulder. It’s not the biggest, it’s not the movie capital, its not the windy city, and might be best associated with Mark Twain’s “coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco” quote.
The average San Franciscan response (a gross generalization, I admit) is being ultra hip, extra cool, showing their seriousness by donning the all-black uniform and lifting their noses high.
It is why I too love to visit “the City” but would never live there.
Keep on keepin’ on, Izzy.
You just can’t beat Texas (especially Austin) for the caliber of people you will meet there. I’ve been pining for it for years now.
Someone once explained to me that different climates make for different prevailing attitudes in the population. Where it is cold, the people are often more isolated and therefore less friendly. As you know by now, there is no such thing as cold in Texas - unless you’re in the air conditioning.
Good luck with the rest of your visit. Is there a silver lining somewhere?
Responding to the comment above… I do think there is a lot to be said about how climate influences attitude. The colder the colder…that kind of thing.
As for silver lining, of course there is some. Here’s what has made all the snotty attitude worthwhile:
1. Peets coffee. It is my absolute fave (because it makes me sweat within 5 minutes of the first sip) and I have had it every morning. Delicious.
2. Walking. I have walked everywhere which I love to do in a city, especially during the holidays when window shopping is extra stimulating.
3. H & M. For those of us who want to look somewhat hip without going broke, this store is the perfect solution. I don’t care if it’s euro-trash. I love it.
4. Twenty bucks will get you a manicure, plus a 15 minute hand and arm massage including tip. I’ve had one every six days.
5. Friends and family. I’ve seen them all and you really can’t beat that. They make up for all the ugly people who can’t bother a smile or a hello.
But, I forgive them. Tis the season, ya’ll.
It’s been great to catch up on how the Holiday season went for you and your family! Everytime I went to visit New York I had to get my H&M fix! We finally just got a few H&M stores here in LA…it’s been wonderful! What you wrote about finally getting “…why I never felt at home when I’d spent my entire adult life here” I can understand this completely. I was born and raised here in LA but have never felt like I truly fit - I didn’t realize this until recently. I lived in Austin for two years while I was in grad school - Austin fit. Texas felt like home. Everyone was friendly. Everyone seemed to genuinely care. It’s been 3 years since I moved back to LA. I still miss Texas. I miss Austin. I miss my adorable little apartment on Robbins Place. I miss going on my runs along the river. I miss showing my family around when they came to visit. I miss the sound of those damn birds that would drive me crazy chirping at all hours of the day - we don’t have birds with that distinct chirp out here in LA. I truly hope you continue to have a wonderful experience in Austin.
I love that you love Texas now!