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We’re talking again: The Tall One and I. Let me clarify. We were never not talking (as in the total silent treatment); We just weren’t conversing. I would lecture; he would listen. It was icky awkward (especially during family dinners), until I realized that The Tall One just isn’t one to yakety-yak (at least as the parental unit can see), so it’s not about me. It’s about him.

I feel better. I’m letting it go. At least until the next time we sit down to a meal.

I wrote the other day about my difficulty communicating with a kid who doesn’t like to chat. Talking AT someone feels like I’m giving a speech and that makes my stomach turn. I’ve said before that I’d rather be stoned with rocks in a public square than have to stand in front of a packed auditorium of strangers and blather on. I’ve also said I’d rather be flogged than have my blood taken. Both make me feel vulnerable and want to throw up.

The Tall One just isn’t one to yakety-yak

And then I read this, “I’ve had students stop speeches halfway through because they’re sobbing or vomiting.” I found this quote in a NY Times story about a college class called “Speech Anxiety” that helps students overcome their reticence getting up in front of a crowd. To be admitted, students have to demonstrate very shabby communication skills. If you know how to smile and work a room, you’re too socially evolved to get in. For students with limp and clammy handshakes, and a strong knack for mumbling, instruction focuses on the basics, like how to start a conversation. For example, “This sangria is great, don’t you think?” They’re tested on, not how well they perform at the podium, but how they interact at mock mixers. I wonder if this includes social grace in the snack line. Really. I’m not making this up. Read the story here.

This is genius! And I’m not the only one who thinks so. Apparently, at schools that offer this alternative, students are clamoring to get in.

If only there were a class like this for stepparents. Something like “Small Talk for Apprehensive Stepmoms.” I’d be enrolling tomorrow.

Image courtesy of Bob Fritz for The New York Times