It’s very possible that my stepson, The Tall One, may be suffering from narcolepsy. Now, don’t get that worried look on your face. If the kid is going to have any behavioral disorder, at least the uncontrollable attack of sleep makes for a good party stunt. It’s entertaining (“Hey look, that dude just fell asleep in the 7-layer dip. That’s awesome!”) and typically it’s a harmless affliction, unless you’re very small and get trapped underneath him when he comes crashing down (Has anyone seen little Laurie?) I’m thinking that it might get him noticed and improve his social standing in high school. If he’d ever stay wake up long enough to drag himself out of the house.
All kidding aside. Ladies, some advice, please. I ask any of you who have man-children to explain this pattern of debilitating fatigue to me. My therapist tells me that teenagers need more sleep. “They just do,” she says.
Ok. She’s the doctor. She’s read all the right books, so I’ll take her word for it. But, really, why is this?
If anyone should be tired, shouldn’t it be me? The harried stepmom trying to balance career, a new marriage, and two kids, who aren’t even my own? You don’t find me drooling all over the couch and walking into walls. No sir! I’m wide-awake. Most days, I’ve gone to the gym, listened to an hour of NPR and gulped down three cups of legal stimulants before The Tall One even stumbles to the kitchen table.
How do I get this kid to wake up?
“I’m exhausted,” is his favorite morning greeting. When he doesn’t feel like talking, he just sits down in front of his bowl of Cheerios with his eyes closed. Like he’s meditating. Or thanking God for the creation of oats.
I’m kind of tempted to get the kid started on a caffeine and sugar kick-start diet: triple espresso with a Cinnabon on the side. Is this bad parenting? Or the responsible thing to do? I’m concerned that the kid is dozing… while the rest of us are living.
You can miss out on a lot when your eyes are closed all the time. And there’s so much to see.
So, tell me ladies, how do I get this kid to wake up?
Posts 
I’m pretty sure the best way to get him to wake up is to wait five to ten years. I’m not sure there’s another answer. It’s not just man-children, either. It’s teenagers, period. We went through the same thing with my eldest-eldest stepdaughter that doesn’t live with us. So, yeah, we went through it less than you, since he lives with you, but experienced it all the same. Never enough sleep.
Ten more years of that much sleep is a lot of Z’s! Seriously.
IR
I don’t know if there is a way to wake him up. And good luck getting him to go to bed earlier. My stepson may be younger than your guy, but he literally falls asleep at the dinner table and sometimes when we run errands after school he’s asleep in the car. Heaven help me, I have never had this problem with my niece and she gets less sleep because she actually worries about her studies and being good. So if you get the answer, please visit my blog and tell me. Otherwise don’t forget to post the answer here because I get a kick out of reading your blog and definitely will be back.
My husband and I saw this documentary on teenagers a year or so ago and they discussed the exact topic; apparently it’s mostly hormone-related. I know, it sounds fake, but the way the documentary described it was that this and that are dipping and surging and the body is still growing; the result is pure exhaustion.
At first I thought it was a pile of crap until I got pregnant and the hormones — not necessarily the same or at the same rate in teen-age boys and girls — knocked me flat on my otherwise energectic behind.
Once I became unpregnant and the hormones leveled back out I felt energetic again.
Sorry but I’m pretty sure it’s very common and normal behavior. If anything is normal for a teenager. I’ve read it too – and from what I’ve heard – they normally grow out of it. Hopefully. And it doesn’t always have anything at all to do with what time they went to bed!
Good luck with this one.
Let him sleep. It’s much easier that way. No talking back, yelling, whining…whatever it is that bigger kids do. Mine are still 11 and under. I’m just waiting for them to sleep longer.
Really…take advantage…it’s ok,
Melissa
I seriously struggled with this as a teenager. From the time I was about 15 my biological clock was on china time. I would lay in bed for hours and hours and just stare at the celing. Then I slept all day in class. This is when me and my dad started a morning Starbucks ritual, and you know what? It was great! I look back on every time I ever spent with my dad, and that was the most meaningful. I was a teenager, and he was a father who had never really been there for me and we reconnected over coffee every morning. I was able to stay awake in class, my grades improved and I felt so great about Starbucks I went on to work there for 3 years. It’s quality time I don’t think we ever would have had otherwise.
On another note, after I graduated high school I went to europe for a month and in doing so I reset my biological clock! When I got back I was able to sleep at night, and function like ‘normal people’ So…my suggestions, start a new tradition, maybe build some extra-special quality time or send him to europe :) Best of luck!
I just came across this article in the September 17th issue of Newsweek titled, “Homeroom Zombies. It gives some good information about sleepy teens and some things you can do to help.??
[...] The Tall One is demonstrating the following (less than endearing) teenage qualities: detachment, narcoleptic fatigue and forgetfulness. What I call, an extreme case of the “blahs.” Instead of [...]
My stepdaughter hates me! It is making my relationship with her father very difficult. Her mother doesn’t like me and she makes comments to her daughter. I have done everyhting for this child. I have spent time with her, talked to her, went shopping for her and with her. She is 13 and I have been with her father for 2 1/2 years. I need advice. What do you do…ignore it? My feelings gets hurt by her. She doesn’t listen to me when I ask her to do something. She rolls her eyes and ignores me. Her dad says stuff to her, but she still acts me and he won’t punish her. She will not even give us a reason to why she hates me.
Your situation sounds almost identical to mine. My stepdaughter lives with me and her dad. She is now 13 1/2 and has been with both her dad and I since she was 6. Her dad has had custody of her since she was 4. I have helped to raise her for 9+ years. Lately she shows little respect for me and her mother fills her head with negative things about me. I’m very hurt over the situation since I have treated this child like my own. Her mother has been a deadbeat up until about the last 3 years. She now spends more time with her. My husband has talked with her many times about her attitude towards me but it doesn’t seem to do any good. It hurts because I think of her as my daughter. I drive her to all school activities and functions and her birth mother attends none. She doesn’t acknowledge me as a mother only the woman married to her father.
Denise,
Could you talk honestly with your SD about your feelings? Some times kids will act like little turds until you call them on it. If you don’t feel comfortable confronting her, then I would suggest waiting it out. She is probably very confused right now about loyalties– you have been there for her and her mother has not. But, now her mother is back. She is probably torn in a million directions. Take a breath, try not to take it personally and refuse to be treated like a doormat.
IR