Comments on: A Toast to the Ladies http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/ a blog for advice, forum, help and guidance for the stepmom, stepkids and stepfamily Wed, 07 Jan 2009 03:54:41 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Stepmother's Milk- Blog, Advice, Forums, Support and Help for the Stepmom, stepkid, stepfamily and step parenting :: Austin, Texas http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-2012 Stepmother's Milk- Blog, Advice, Forums, Support and Help for the Stepmom, stepkid, stepfamily and step parenting :: Austin, Texas Wed, 16 Jan 2008 16:07:24 +0000 http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-2012 [...] related wedding stories… Tags:broadway, memphis wedding, New York Times, peabody hotel, Rent musical, seasons of love, [...] [...] related wedding stories… Tags:broadway, memphis wedding, New York Times, peabody hotel, Rent musical, seasons of love, [...]

]]> By: Kristi http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-309 Kristi Thu, 06 Sep 2007 16:31:17 +0000 http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-309 Right on Izzy! What would we do without our girlfriends to laugh and cry with? They help set us straight and make us realize we are not the only ones. Piper is right when she comments that this blog doesn't just resonates with stepmoms. Thanks also to Piper for letting us know about Izzy's blog award! Congrats! Right on Izzy! What would we do without our girlfriends to laugh and cry with? They help set us straight and make us realize we are not the only ones. Piper is right when she comments that this blog doesn’t just resonates with stepmoms. Thanks also to Piper for letting us know about Izzy’s blog award! Congrats!

]]> By: Izzy http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-304 Izzy Wed, 05 Sep 2007 23:23:53 +0000 http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-304 Alice, And in that way I that way, I believe that is our strength. As stepkids ourselves, we can provide an insight and tender perspective to OUR stepkids. I don't know a lot about mothering...I have no bio kids of my own...but I know alot about being a stepkid. Thanks for all your comments IR Alice,
And in that way I that way, I believe that is our strength. As stepkids ourselves, we can provide an insight and tender perspective to OUR stepkids. I don’t know a lot about mothering…I have no bio kids of my own…but I know alot about being a stepkid.

Thanks for all your comments

IR

]]> By: Alice Nelson (playgroundropout) http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-301 Alice Nelson (playgroundropout) Wed, 05 Sep 2007 16:58:02 +0000 http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-301 Agh. I remember when my parents divorced. It was a pretty ugly one too. I used to run out and lay down on the pavement infront of his car, so that he couldn't leave the driveway. They never really sat me down and explained everything to me - I wish they had. It definitely does seem like the right thing to do. My dad remarried twice, giving me two rounds of step-mom, both of which I ended up not liking. The only thing good that really came out of it is, I know what I do and do not want from a stepmom. And since every cloud has a silver lining - I think my experiences will help me become a stronger stepmom to my man's kids. Agh. I remember when my parents divorced. It was a pretty ugly one too. I used to run out and lay down on the pavement infront of his car, so that he couldn’t leave the driveway. They never really sat me down and explained everything to me - I wish they had. It definitely does seem like the right thing to do.

My dad remarried twice, giving me two rounds of step-mom, both of which I ended up not liking. The only thing good that really came out of it is, I know what I do and do not want from a stepmom. And since every cloud has a silver lining - I think my experiences will help me become a stronger stepmom to my man’s kids.

]]> By: cdp http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-299 cdp Wed, 05 Sep 2007 02:35:31 +0000 http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-299 Cheers back, lovely lady. Your words add much to my life, every day that I read them. Cheers back, lovely lady. Your words add much to my life, every day that I read them.

]]> By: piper http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-298 piper Wed, 05 Sep 2007 00:23:12 +0000 http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-298 A toast is in fact in order. It seems that in addition to her other attributes, Izzy is modest. "The Grass is Always Greener" was given a Perfect Post Award. Check it out - http://www.valuewit.com/2007/09/perfect-post-aw.html Regarding today's post, I would like to add that the comments & commiseration on this site resonate not only with stepmothers, but with anyone who is a part of a complex family. The typical American Family is no longer composed of a mother, father - happily married until death do part them - with two natural children. I come from a family with a mother, father and (over time) four of their respective partners, a sister, a step-sister, and two-half brothers. My step-sister has had three step-parents and four step-siblings. My half-brothers have two moms. My biomom, who was adopted, regularly hangs with her biological parents and siblings, and my step-mother is still close with her ex-mother-in-law. Drawing the family tree is no easy task. This kind of resource is invaluable. Cheers right back at ya, Izzy. A toast is in fact in order. It seems that in addition to her other attributes, Izzy is modest. “The Grass is Always Greener” was given a Perfect Post Award.

Check it out - http://www.valuewit.com/2007/09/perfect-post-aw.html

Regarding today’s post, I would like to add that the comments & commiseration on this site resonate not only with stepmothers, but with anyone who is a part of a complex family. The typical American Family is no longer composed of a mother, father - happily married until death do part them - with two natural children. I come from a family with a mother, father and (over time) four of their respective partners, a sister, a step-sister, and two-half brothers. My step-sister has had three step-parents and four step-siblings. My half-brothers have two moms. My biomom, who was adopted, regularly hangs with her biological parents and siblings, and my step-mother is still close with her ex-mother-in-law. Drawing the family tree is no easy task. This kind of resource is invaluable.

Cheers right back at ya, Izzy.

]]> By: Kori http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-297 Kori Tue, 04 Sep 2007 23:50:56 +0000 http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-297 When I entered into the world of my husband's family I was so intrigued with the fact that his mom and dad were still friendly even though they had long separated. They spent most holidays together, they chatted often, especially about the sons, and even still argued here and there. (My divorced parents had no such chumminess- not even the arguing part) So, I began to have my own delusions that they really still loved each other and one day would be back together. After 15 years in the scene, I get it. They don't want to be back together but there is still a friendship/family bond based on the fact that they are the parents. And there's still plenty of annoyances and bullshit that everyone gets into but gets through as well. I know this wouldn't work for everyone, but I love knowing that it can work for some. When I entered into the world of my husband’s family I was so intrigued with the fact that his mom and dad were still friendly even though they had long separated. They spent most holidays together, they chatted often, especially about the sons, and even still argued here and there. (My divorced parents had no such chumminess- not even the arguing part) So, I began to have my own delusions that they really still loved each other and one day would be back together. After 15 years in the scene, I get it. They don’t want to be back together but there is still a friendship/family bond based on the fact that they are the parents. And there’s still plenty of annoyances and bullshit that everyone gets into but gets through as well. I know this wouldn’t work for everyone, but I love knowing that it can work for some.

]]> By: Chelly http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-296 Chelly Tue, 04 Sep 2007 23:29:58 +0000 http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-296 When my parents divorced, I sang along with every everyone else that was singing the "about dang time" song lol. My father was/is a drunk, manipulator, and every other bad thing anyone could call him. And yet, I lived 4 and a half years with him. I was happy when he remarried, meant some of his focus would be off me. I was happy my mom remarried, meant she finally had someone else to lean on besides me. I grew up way to fast because of my messed up family. I went through both the evil and good step-family. My step-mother was a B.I.T.C.H. that thought it was grand to throw me against walls. The only saving grace from that family was my step-sister. My step-father, he was more of a father then my own. He cared, set reasonable rules, and didn't throw me against a wall when I did wrong. The bad fall from that family was my step-brother. He was quiet the thief. I have brought wisdom from both sides of the coin into this family. I know I will never throw any of these kids against a wall, no matter how much they might deserve it. I know to be supportive, and be a role model. I am the primary guardian of the kids, they live with me full time, no going back and forth. They were thrown into this step-family with out a voice. No one sat down to explain things to them. I have been trying, but the kids don't want to talk to me. I know who they want to talk to, and getting those two to see they need to talk to these kids has been an up hill battle I have been fighting for the past 5 years. I could go on and on about this topic... It has been something I have thought about on many levels for many years. I know my oldest wanted his parents back together for a while, even though he recalled them doing nothing but fighting just about every night. The middle was only 4 when her parents divorced, I have been in her life since she was 5, but she always knew she was the "favored" by her BM. The youngest, he was 2 when they divorced, he only met his mother three times after the divorce. But he loves her more then he can express, though he doesn't actually know her. Up until Christmas of 05, he could never point her out in any pictures. I am actually writing about my step-family dynamics and hope to get it up on my site sometime this month. When my parents divorced, I sang along with every everyone else that was singing the “about dang time” song lol. My father was/is a drunk, manipulator, and every other bad thing anyone could call him. And yet, I lived 4 and a half years with him. I was happy when he remarried, meant some of his focus would be off me. I was happy my mom remarried, meant she finally had someone else to lean on besides me. I grew up way to fast because of my messed up family. I went through both the evil and good step-family. My step-mother was a B.I.T.C.H. that thought it was grand to throw me against walls. The only saving grace from that family was my step-sister. My step-father, he was more of a father then my own. He cared, set reasonable rules, and didn’t throw me against a wall when I did wrong. The bad fall from that family was my step-brother. He was quiet the thief.

I have brought wisdom from both sides of the coin into this family. I know I will never throw any of these kids against a wall, no matter how much they might deserve it. I know to be supportive, and be a role model. I am the primary guardian of the kids, they live with me full time, no going back and forth. They were thrown into this step-family with out a voice. No one sat down to explain things to them. I have been trying, but the kids don’t want to talk to me. I know who they want to talk to, and getting those two to see they need to talk to these kids has been an up hill battle I have been fighting for the past 5 years.

I could go on and on about this topic… It has been something I have thought about on many levels for many years. I know my oldest wanted his parents back together for a while, even though he recalled them doing nothing but fighting just about every night. The middle was only 4 when her parents divorced, I have been in her life since she was 5, but she always knew she was the “favored” by her BM. The youngest, he was 2 when they divorced, he only met his mother three times after the divorce. But he loves her more then he can express, though he doesn’t actually know her. Up until Christmas of 05, he could never point her out in any pictures.

I am actually writing about my step-family dynamics and hope to get it up on my site sometime this month.

]]> By: Arkie Mama http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-293 Arkie Mama Tue, 04 Sep 2007 18:10:00 +0000 http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-293 Oops. Submitted this comment on an older post. One of those days. So, reposting here — First, I’m from the Austin area. I now live in Arkansas. Second, I’m a stepmother to two teenagers, one boy, one girl, non-custodial. They live 30 minutes away. Third, how have I not stumbled across this blog?! I’m so glad I found you. p.s. We eloped. Oops. Submitted this comment on an older post. One of those days.

So, reposting here —

First, I’m from the Austin area. I now live in Arkansas.

Second, I’m a stepmother to two teenagers, one boy, one girl, non-custodial. They live 30 minutes away.

Third, how have I not stumbled across this blog?!

I’m so glad I found you.

p.s. We eloped.

]]> By: Trixie_b http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-291 Trixie_b Tue, 04 Sep 2007 15:12:55 +0000 http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-291 I'm sure that my step kids wanted their mom and dad to stay together, The step-Diva recently announced that she's been depressed since the divorce (she actually said the school grade, but the timings fit in). I also was told about the time that one of the boys broke his hand, hitting the door when he was told the news (he was 17 or 18 at the time). These kids are demonstrative.... they are firey and vocal. Their Mom got re-married a couple of months ago, and Mr W and I got married a week ago, everyone is in a state of flux and we're witnessing the firey and vocal. Do you think that it's them kicking back at not being able to "reassemble the pack" with new spouses in the way? I’m sure that my step kids wanted their mom and dad to stay together, The step-Diva recently announced that she’s been depressed since the divorce (she actually said the school grade, but the timings fit in). I also was told about the time that one of the boys broke his hand, hitting the door when he was told the news (he was 17 or 18 at the time).

These kids are demonstrative…. they are firey and vocal.

Their Mom got re-married a couple of months ago, and Mr W and I got married a week ago, everyone is in a state of flux and we’re witnessing the firey and vocal. Do you think that it’s them kicking back at not being able to “reassemble the pack” with new spouses in the way?

]]> By: BetteJo http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-288 BetteJo Tue, 04 Sep 2007 05:24:24 +0000 http://stepmothersmilk.com/2007/09/03/stepmothers-milk/#comment-288 I don't think I seriously thought my parents would get back together but I think there was a sub-conscious wish for normalcy. It was the late 60's, none of my friends had parents who were divorced, once my dad moved out it wasn't something we talked about. So I think it was the idea of having both parents in the same house, more so than ever planning some kind of real life parent trap. And knowing what I know now - I was better off!! I don’t think I seriously thought my parents would get back together but I think there was a sub-conscious wish for normalcy. It was the late 60’s, none of my friends had parents who were divorced, once my dad moved out it wasn’t something we talked about. So I think it was the idea of having both parents in the same house, more so than ever planning some kind of real life parent trap.
And knowing what I know now - I was better off!!

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