Holy Turd
The Young One likes to read the Bible on the toilet. Yes, I know this is a personal matter, but I have a point. A teaching, if you will.
I first witnessed The Young One praying (in his own particular way), when I caught him in the Act. Jeans down around his ankles, reading from the Book of Luke.
I wasn’t surprised to discover him occupied with a good story. He savors the written word, whenever and wherever he can get it.
He’s a devout student. The kid hauls thirty-five pounds of library books to and from school every day. We, the parental unit, have suggested that his slight frame can’t withstand such a scholastic burden, but he won’t hear of it. He won’t sacrifice a one. He’s a bit of a zealot.
His devotion to a varied range of literature is impressive (Robin Hood, Sky Mall, Wiring 1-2-3). He dives into most topics with equal intensity. But lately, he reads The Bible in earnest.
We’re not sure where his spiritual fire comes from. Without getting into our family politics or religious affiliation, I’ll just say that The Young One is holier than thee.
That said, I don’t want to discourage his spiritual practices, but the kid’s just not being practical. Other folks need to use the facility.
The day I caught The Young One praying on the Porcelain God, I was minding my own business.
I passed by the boys’ bathroom and the door was ajar. So, I pushed it open.
“IZZY! he screamed. CLOSE THE DOOR!!!!”
The kid was mortified. I’d intruded on a private moment. I honestly don’t blame him for scolding me, but everyone knows that a door ajar is as good as open. Isn’t it?
Since then, he became religious about locking that door. He turned our toilet into his personal pew.
And that’s when disciplinary action became necessary. The kid was denying others time in the sanctuary.
So, what is my point to all this? This little power play brings up a fundamental question the stepfamily must face. What is the role of the stepparent when it comes to governing? Are there distinct disciplinary lines we dare not cross? Do I, Stepmom of the house, get to say, “Five minutes in the Johnny. That’s it!”
The day I caught The Young One praying on the Porcelain God, I was minding my own business.
When the boys starting living with us full-time, my default role was to back away. Let the bio-parent handle it. I’ve got no business setting the rules and regulations.
But, this quickly made me crazy. My tongue got sore from biting it and The Husband got worried.
He said, “Don’t be afraid to assert yourself.” He suggested, “This is your house, too.” He encouraged, “Why don’t we parent together?”
With that, I kissed him on the lips and got out a pen and paper and together we created the House Rules. It was very romantic.
Now, when The Young One steals away for some inspired reading, leaving his older brother with nowhere to go, I take charge. I pound on the bathroom door and say, “I know that God is everywhere, including the bathroom, but can you wrap it up with The Boss, so your brother doesn’t pee in the hall?!”
Usually, he obeys and opens the door. On one of his more rebellious days, I was forced to say to The Tall One, “Dude, the spirit is stirring in there. Your brother won’t budge. You might have to hit the hedge out front.”
For further discussion on “What is our role?”, add comments to this post or visit the Whole Milk Forum.
Tags:advice, blog, forum, spiritual practices, stepmom, stepparent
Wow… don’t know what to say. I feel blessed.
Interesting. I have the young one here, or more of the youngest, always in the bathroom, only he is brushing his teeth for the 15th time since getting up a half hour ago. Oldest here (12) is the book worm. He carries books home from the school library, he carries base library books to school. He is taking over two bookshelves of books, my old teen books he has taken over, but thankfully, he hides in his room to do all of his reading.
In 30 years time, a TV evangelist will be talking about how he found God in a bathroom in Texas. You couldn’t make this stuff up.
Unfortunately, I can’t. Pray for me.
IR
That’s priceless. Again, you are such a great story teller.
I think it’s great that the young one is expressing his own interests and beliefs, but yeah…he might want to pick a less communal area.
And I am so happy that you posted a link to your house rules (which I had never read)…it’s inspired my next post.
Oh, good. I’m not saying they follow them all the time, but it’s made me feel more in control (even if its just my own perception:)
looking forward to your next post.
IR
I once lived with a person who would ONLY read in the bathroom. Come to find out he was severly dislexic and only felt comfortable reading where he couldn’t be seen. But, he had his own room and we only had one bath! I feel that Tall One’s pain!
Great topic! I can completely relate…where is the line in the sand when it comes to discipline…and do we dare cross it?! Thanks Izzy!
Well, at least he does this at home. My oldest (7) has a tendency to wait until we are out in public, declare a desperate need to go to the bathroom, and then stay in there for half an hour.
So, yeah. That’s me. You know,the mom sitting staring at her watch and trying to calm my 5 year old who is just SO ready to go while sitting outside the Dairy Queen bathroom for way too long and smiling quite fakely at all the patrons who have come, and gone, while I’ve been sitting in that booth in the back. Yep, that’s me.
ps, omg, I’m so totally going to have to get myself a ‘Fun Monkey’ t-shirt. Awesome!
Cindy,
Well, I guess that gives you the time you need to finish your ice cream or do a little extra shopping:) I can picture it right now, fake smile and all. Nice.
Have a fun monkey day!
IR
Well, The Husband was right! It’s your house, you’re one of the parents in it, you have every right to set rules and expect them to be followed. A stepmom should never feel she has to give up all control in her own home. That’s the one place where she [b]should[/b] feel she has some control.
Lord knows as stepmoms that’s something we have so little of!
Hilarious! Your husband is right, it is your home too. While you may not have much to stand on with a lot of things, and absolutely no rights outside the home, you do have the right to regulate bathroom access.
I love that your stepson is exploring religion, even if it is on the toilet.