Repress, Obsess and Deny. I’m told this is an unhealthy mantra. I admit, it’s a little polluted. But so far, it’s been my step-mom formula for success.
It may not be restorative, but it’s working for me. I mean, at least it’s realistic.
Tags:Becoming Stepmom, formula for success, grown up
A TV producer from San Francisco, Izzy left her big city, single lifestyle to move to Austin, Texas with three guys- her new husband and his two kids. She insisted on her own bathroom before setting foot in the door. And that was just the beginning.
Meet Izzy and her blended mix.
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hey izzy,
nice blog. fun stuff. serious shit.
i thought i knew what i was getting into when i became the stepparent of
two teenagers. then the shit hit the fan. wow. and my stepkids were
goody-goodies. imagine the stories my wife could tell you about MY kids.
yikes!
the thing is, 14 years later, my kids love their step-mom and her kids love me.
it just took most of them a long time to figure that out.
i won’t give you any advice, but i will say good luck.
chris
Hey Izzy……..love the site. My sister Kori, told me about this and am I glad she did. I am a step-mother to a 14 year old. I thought becoming a step-parent would be fun, exciting - how naive I was. I had this image that my husband, step-daughter, his ex-wife & I could all get along and things would be just blissful……….I was living in a dream world. Not that it’s all bad with my s-daughter, but reality kicked me in the ass. I dont really have anyone that can relate since 99% of my circle of friendships are not step-parents, so how could they possible give me the advice I need on how to maintain my sanity? Your blog brings humor and reality to those of us in this role……..are we a parent? 1/2 a parent? someone who is there just to take care of things? What are we really?
hi, izzy! any relation to emma rose? :-)
your dear mom told me about this at book club this week–it’s super!
i’ve been a part-time s-mom and an s-kid (multiple times) and have one piece of advice: be yourself and don’t expect anyone to follow in your footsteps.
much love and luck,
sophie
Hi Kris,
Glad you are enjoying the site. I have posted a thread in the forum (Whole Milk) called “what is our role” to get others talking about your inquiry above. It’s a tricky one to define and I do think the role changes or evolves over time. I’m still trying to figure mine out.
Also, see the new feature called Stepmom in the Spotlight. Your question is addressed here, by a woman who is no longer raising her 3 step-kids. She’s got some interesting things to say.
IzzyRose
Okay, I am almost with you with the mantra. But it is missing something. Drink. It is missing Drink. I don’t mean every night, or until you can’t see straight, but just a really tasty glass of wine that cost more than your kid’s haircut or a martini with enough olives to call it dinner. We are entitled, aren’t we?
Olives for dinner. Very smart. And it satisfies my neurotic need to multi-task. Olives are protein and the world is on a lo-carb kick, so really... your suggestion is not only handy, it’s the responsible thing to do.
Thanks for the tip.
IR