stepmothersmilk.com

Introducing Ms. January! After a long hiatus, Stepmother’s Milk is proud to feature Lacey from Louisiana as this month’s Stepmom in the Spotlight.

Miss Lacey began blogging soon after she got engaged to a wonderful man who came with a child of his own. She has written about the ups and downs of marrying into an “insta-family”, as well as the great debate over wedding cake.

She continues to write regularly at amygdala thoughts (you’ll have to ask her what that means).

She says in this month’s interview…

“My blog has been my saving grace while I transitioned into [the stepmom role]. It’s my place to vent and receive feedback from others, even if it’s not always what I want to hear.”

Read the complete interview…

Enjoy!

I am jumping on The Bachelor bandwagon for no other reason than tonight 8/7 central America will begin watching as Jason Mesnick (otherwise known as that handsome single dad) starts auditioning stepmoms.

Like they always do, this season’s return bachelor says he is looking for “true love,” but as soon-to-be or already stepmoms ourselves, we know what that really means. The guy is looking for a woman who is also willing to help raise his child.

Here’s what the official site has to say about Jason…

“His heart-warming story as a single father from Seattle with a three-year-old son, Ty — the apple of his eye — struck a chord with many women. Divorced two years ago, Jason would like to start another family… [Jason's] parents are divorced and both are happily remarried.”

I think this will be fascinating to watch. Twenty-five hot and single ladies will be vying for the attention and approval of a man and his son. How much of a role will his son play in the courting process? Will they both be awarding roses? (If it’s any indication, I couldn’t find a single image of his son on the official site.)

An early discussion on the ABC message board asks, Won’t his son be a deal breaker? Aha! We’ve had similar discussions here in the SMM forum. This is a huge consideration, if not the most important decision a woman dating a divorced man eventually has to make. Certainly the producers of The Bachelor know this?

I will be watching very closely to see how a prime time “reality” show handles the new dating reality–you finally meet an eligible bachelor, but he’s hardly single.

Ladies, please do weigh in!

On the eve of 2009, The Husband, The Tall One, The Young One and I traveled down to San Antonio to a house party that was celebrating its twenty-fifth anniversary of ringing in the new year.

The party is hosted by family friends of Lena, my Austin gal-pal. (See photo below. She is easily identified by her fiery red curls.)

Long-standing traditions include bringing your own bubbly to chill in the bathtub…

Gulping down raw oysters (The Young One ate a bakers dozen and complained of an oyster hang-over the following morning)…

Feasting on sizable platters of seasoned meats…

and performing backup vocals for “Mustang Sally.”

Midnight was marked by old-school pyrotechnics on the back porch.

To all of you from the four of us-- HERE’S TO A HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR!

All images courtesy of The Tall One (photo below bottom right).

Calling all stepladies or soon-to-be stepladies...Interested in starring in your own Stepmama Drama?

Pie Town Productions, a Los Angeles television production company is currently searching for families to potentially feature in a docu-drama (i.e. reality TV show). They are in the process of developing a positive, upbeat show (think: “Jon and Kate Plus Eight”).
 
They are looking for LIVELY families with funny stories, big emotion, and great personalities.  Multiple children not necessary, but preferred. The more the merrier! They are specifically looking for childless women who have recently married (or will soon marry) a divorced man with kids.

I have personally passed on the opportunity because A) I mumble (not quite as bad as Ozzy Osbourne, but close and how many more reality shows do we need with a lead mumbler?), B) I have a strict rule to stay behind the camera and not in front of it and C) The Young One would be a royal stage hog and The Tall One would probably stay locked in his room until the show wrapped.

If you are interested, please email Ally Weinberg with your contact information and your story.  Please send responses to: Reality_Casting@pietown.tv  To learn more about the company visit their site at: http://www.pietown.tv

Ladies, it is my great pleasure and an absolute thrill to announce it here first– My memoir, The Package Deal, My (not-so) Glamorous Transition from Single Gal to Instant Mother will be available in bookstores in May 2009. Just in time for (step)mother’s day. (although you can pre-order it today by following this LINK to fantsy-pants Random House)

I realize this is several (like six) months away, but I thought it only fair to let you know why I have been so unapologetically absent from this blog for so long. I’ve been writing, writing, writing and now the bulk of the work is done and I can return to the platform that inspired the book in the first place– Stepmother’s Milk. Many of the discussions that we have had here are included in The Package Deal, including the L-Word, What’s in a name, The Stepkid Shuffle and Marrying the Ex.

My hope is that by baring my imperfect soul to the world, The Package Deal will inspire an even larger, mainstream discussion about what it means to be a stepmom and part of a stepfamily. I’m still holding tight to my fantasy where stepmoms from all over the land proudly flood their villages, cities and cul-de-sacs with their manicured fists held high, declaring… MY NAME IS (put yours here) AND I AM A STEPMOM AND YES, I COUNT!

Let’s see what happens,

Here’s an excerpt……….

I’m stuck. I can’t move my arms. I think I’m having a claustrophobic fit. What’s that smell?

Let me be frank: Traveling with children is a bit of a chore. Welcome to the party, honey. Is that what you’re thinking?

I’m well aware that I’m not the first person to come to this conclusion. I’ve been on plenty of planes, sitting across from rattled parents with wailing babies and there is nothing about that ordeal that’s ever looked rewarding, or fun.

I’m not a witch who bakes kids on high. I can do this. I can be the kid-loving type.

Juggling a ‘tween and a teen has a different set of challenges. They don’t shed as many tears as babies do, but they still lose their share of liquids—from the armpit region. Two hours in and the trip to Memphis was getting a little, how should I say, funky. If smoking were still allowed on commercial flights, I would have torn the ripe T-shirt off The Tall One and torched it in the plane’s bathroom.

Instead, I threw off my seat belt and squirmed my way safely over him and out into the aisle.

“Ouch! What are you doing?” he said.

“I have to use the restroom. Unless you want me to stay put and pee on you?”

“You’re weird.” He went back to his journal-writing and I headed to the back of the plane.

In my moments of anxiety about adding half-grown kids to the romantic mix, I often seek out a bathroom mirror where I can give myself a good talking-to. In the plane’s lavatory, I told my sallow reflection that tolerance is a favorable quality– it’ll erase years from your green face– and moreover, I’d heard that a self-centered lifestyle is ultimately unfulfilling. If I love this man, I have to accept that his kids are along for the ride. I searched my own eyes for conviction. If I wasn’t ready to accept the vacation package deal, I ought to let this man go and get back to traveling alone.

I don’t want to let this man go.

I think what’s always scared me about having kids is that they’ll bring out the worst in me. They’ll just be doing what kids do (tracking in dirt, licking the floor or screaming until their lungs bleed) and I’ll get agitated and become that mean lady who stuffs them in the oven.

I’m not a witch who bakes kids on high. I can do this. I can be the kid-loving type.

I forced a cheerful smile, unlocked the door to my confessional, and headed back to my seat with renewed strength.

The boys were knocked out, so I wedged myself in between their bony frames. Once I had enough room to exhale, their warm (albeit stinky) bodies felt quite cozy, and when The Young One– clutching his favorite stuffed animal, The Lobster– nestled up against my shoulder, I thought, okay, maybe this isn’t so bad.

Excerpted from The Package Deal, to be published by Three Rivers Press,
an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc.